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 Expressing Disagreement Constructively
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<h3><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive.html">How To Be More Assertive</a></h3>
<p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part1.html">
What is<br>assertiveness'
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part2.html">
Four styles
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part3.html">
Rights and<br>responsibilities
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part4.html">
Positive beliefs
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part5.html">
Being direct
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part6.html">
Expressing<br>disagreement constructively
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part7.html">
Managing the other<br>person's behaviour<br>by enforcing<br>a process
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part8.html">
Building rapport
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part9.html">
Focusing on facts
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part10.html">
Focusing on<br>consequences
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part11.html">
Stopping put-down<br>behaviour
<p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part12.html">
Text Book Techniques
</a></p><p><a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part13.html">
Personal<br>action planning
</a></p>
</div>
 <h1>Expressing Disagreement Constructively</h1>
 <h2>How To Be More Assertive: Part 6</h2>
<p>When you disagree with someone, it is often best to be direct and clear, as it avoids an unfortunate misunderstanding.  Eg: when someone disagrees they often go quiet;  yet silence is often interpreted by others as agreement.  Hence, there is a miscommunication.</p>
<p>Disagreement can sometimes feel confrontational, so the assertive approach is to express disagreement in a constructive manner.  This involves stating the disagreement clearly, but then following up immediately with one of the following:
<ol>
<li>a proposed alternative<br><br>
"No I can't take you to the airport.  John may know of someone else going to the airport this afternoon - try asking him."
<li>asking the other person to think of an alternative<br><br>
"No, I can't take you to the airport.  Who else could you ask'"
<li>stating where you agree<br><br>
"I don't think that idea will work, but I do agree that something needs to be done about it, and we've got to find a solution"
</ol>
<p>Expressing disagreement constructively can also help to overcome the "<a href="../tt/t-articl/apollo.htm">Apollo Syndrome</a>", a phenomenon whereby highly intelligent individuals perform badly as a team.  The reason is that they keep focusing on disagreements, so spend their time in arguments that go round in circles.</p>
<br><br>
 <a href="how-to-be-more-assertive-part7.html" class=sidelink>How To Be More Assertive:<br>
 Part 7: Manage the other person's behaviour, by enforcing a process</a>

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