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 <title>Midlife Crisis, Stress and Depression Page2</title>


 <meta name="DESCRIPTION" CONTENT="This page explains the process of mid life transition in terms of the natural changes that take place.">
 <meta name="KEYWORDS" CONTENT="midlife, stress, psychotherapy, depression, counselling, grief, stress management, mid life, midlife crisis, mid life crisis">

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<h1>The natural process of midlife transition</h1>

<p>(continued from <a href="midlife3.htm">Mid Life Crisis, page 3</a>)<br>

<H4>Individuation</H4>
<P>The final stage in the process is one of recognising and integrating
the conflicts that exist within us, and achieving a balance between them.
Examples of such conflicts include:</P>
<UL>
<LI>accepting the authority of others - vs - taking authority over our
own lives</LI>
<LI>presenting personae to the world - vs - acting, thinking and speaking
in harmony with the inner self</LI>
<LI>meeting the demands of others - vs - meeting our own inner needs</LI>
<LI>Acknowledging our 'shadows'* - vs - living up to our ideals </LI>
<li>Facing up to the unconscious, including the repressed and disliked parts of who we are and other aspects of the Self</li>
<UL>
<P>* <I>The shadow consists of those aspects of our personality
(usually negative) that we find unacceptable - we push them out of our
own consciousness and 'project' them onto others.</I></P>
</UL>
</UL>
<P>Individuation is a process that leads to a more mature, balanced, 'rounded'
person. In Myers Briggs terms, this may mean developing the aspects of
personality that are opposite to one's preferences. For example, an INTJ,
who has pursued an interest in a scientific career, may start to develop
interest in ESFP-type activities. This might involve:</P>
<UL>
<LI>enjoying relationships for their own sake, rather than in joint pursuit
of some scientific objective</LI>
<LI>taking up sporting pursuits simply to enjoy them, without feeling the
need to develop ever greater skill and competence</LI>
<LI>spending more time with the family and enjoying life with the children
or grandchildren.</LI>
<LI>developing a much greater appreciation for people, despite their lack
of competence or intellectual ability.</LI>
</UL>
<H4>Individual experience</H4>
<P><IMG SRC="/tt/g-articl/journey.gif" ALT="Diagram showing the journey is iterative, not sequential" HEIGHT=108 WIDTH=124 ALIGN=RIGHT>The
process is not a strict 'sequence of events' as described above. The steps
(of accommodation, separation, liminality, reintegration and individuation)
provide a framework to explain mid-life transition, but not a rule to be
followed. Although there may be common themes, not all themes have to be
true of all people. Each person's experience is different. For example:</P>
<UL>
<LI>The stages may be entered and re-entered time and time again. </LI>
<LI>Some people may take years or even decades to find their 'true selves',
whilst others may find that this part of the process is very short. </LI>
<LI>For some, it may be a very painful process, for others it may seem
no different from other normal aspects of life. </LI>
<LI>For some, the process of change and development may be resisted, and
some people may not wish to spend time looking inwards at oneself. </LI>
</UL>
<P>It is a fluid process - but recognising the stages can help to make
sense of what is otherwise chaos and confusion. Perhaps understanding of
mid-life transition might help some people to move from thinking 'there
is something wrong with me' to seeing that the feelings and changes associated
with mid-life are quite natural. In fact, they are experienced by most
other people at a similar stage of life.</P>
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