Positive Beliefs

How To Be More Assertive: Part 4

What you believe has a major impact on your behaviour, and your assertiveness.

Here are some examples of unassertive beliefs:

• “If someone refuses a request, it means they don’t like me”
  
  
• “They won't want to do that, so I won't ask”
  
  
• “My needs are not as important as other peoples”
  
  
• “I have no right to ask”
  
  
• “I’d rather give in and avoid the conflict”
  
  
• “If I ask, they’ll think I’m being rude or bossy”

Here are some examples of aggressive beliefs:

• “People should always do what I ask”
  
  
• “A refusal is an attack on me personally”
  
  
• “My needs are more important than others’”
  
  

What negative beliefs inhibit your assertiveness:

Here are some examples of positive beliefs:

• “We may be at different levels in the organisation, but as people we both have rights & a right to our beliefs”
  
  
• “If we both express our views, we can then explore ways of both getting what we want”
  
  
• “I’ll listen to what you have to say, and I’ll expect you to listen to what I have to say”

What positive beliefs do you need to develop to become more assertive?

How To Be More Assertive

What is
assertiveness?

Four styles

Rights and
responsibilities

Positive beliefs

Being direct

Expressing
disagreement constructively

Managing the other
person's behaviour
by enforcing
a process

Building rapport

Focusing on facts

Focusing on
consequences

Stopping put-down
behaviour

Text Book Techniques

Personal
action planning